I DON'T MEAN THE PART WHERE YOU GET SWEPT OFF YOUR FEET, I MEAN THE faceplant part. the aftermath.
A couple years ago my best friend and I took a trip to Italy. We were both licking fresh wounds from strangely similar relationships and serendipitous break ups. Somehow we were living out the same agonizing love lessons with two doppelgangers – same foreign accent, same man bun, and as far as we were concerned, same Casanova torture tactics. Lucky for us Italy provided an infinite amount of prosecco, comfort food and hot Italian men to wash away most memories of man buns and heartbreak.
Unlucky for us every park we walked through was filled with a sea of young lovers going at it, and ok…possibly copulating. To make ourselves feel better we would pretend to yell, “Be careful, someone’s gonna get hurt! We can’t tell which one right now, but it’s going to be one of you!” We would giggle and carry on shamelessly looking for our next peril with love because let’s be honest, we wanted to be copulating in the park too. But the question is WHY?
Why is love so euphoric and so potentially torturous? As if they go hand in hand!
And why do we keep going back like a crack addict who can’t seem to get enough even though we know its gonna hurt?
WTF is love anyway?
An angel told me once that chemistry was simply a magnetic force for two souls to stick together to work their lessons out. #buzzkill? Maybe, but also kind of amazing. Two individuals so attracted to each other NOTHING can keep them apart. No blatant warning signs, no brutal advice from friends, and probably about 1 to 10 breakups until they finally come to their senses. But why does it feel so good and then so potentially heart-rending? Love is irrefutably one of the best feelings on earth, so what’s the catch?
“You fall in love to remember the vibration of love, it is the ego that works down the latter calculating and needing to box-in ideas of what love is through attempts to control. All is possible through love. In your attachment to needs - which is based in lack and forgetfulness that you are full, you disrupt the love that is available through you. There is a misconception that love is felt from the heart, it is he soul that beats so strongly for another. Chemistry is an electric magnetic force that draws two souls together for their learning but also for their remembrance of what IS.” – Archangel Chamuel
Chamuel is saying that love is meant to catapult us into our fullness and alignment, it is a feeling that is more true to what we really are than anything, but the contrast of the ego and fearful attempts to control or extract safety from another is the heartbreak we experience… AKA the faceplant.
So can love and chemistry last? (And dear God, how?!)
To me, this might be the biggest inquiry in all the mysteries of the universe. Gravity… whatever. Can you stay “in love” with someone and remain attracted to them like, “I still wanna jump your bones 10-years-in” attracted to them? I want this to be possible, I really do, and in some parallel universe I believe it is. After all, when we are in love we are seeing that person for all that they really are. But can it last?
“Yes, it is quite possible to exist in love without pain, this is achieved by attending to the soul’s desires instead of the learned behaviors, needs, or demands - of what you term the ego. When you tend to this, chemistry is potentially long lasting because you connect up instead of into the other. Both must be on board for this union to occur.” – Archangel Daniel
AH-MAZING. If two people are both willing and devoted to their own connection to love and well-being, then chemistry can continue to exist! If you can be in love with life you can be perpetually in love (and into) your partner. #whoa Where you at partner? ;)
Where do we go wrong?
“It’s not you, it’s me.” Ok so we’re giving new meaning to this one, and I promise you’ll never be the same if you can really grasp this one. This “accountability factor” will be your insurance policy. When something goes wrong, IT’S ALWAYS YOU.
Case in point:
Second Month: “You're perfect. I love the way you strike up conversation with strangers, you’re so sexy and confident.”
Second Year: “Why are you so insecure that you have to get approval from everyone? Ugh, you literally flirt with anything that walks.”
For real though! Here’s what happens: We start projecting our own needs onto them. We stop just “seeing them” and we start “needing them” to be something to meet our conditional contentment. This can happen at any point in the relationship and in varying degrees. Yes, and even especially, in the beginning. Waiting for someone to call so you can know how to feel about yourself is ridiculous but we do it subconsciously. We tend to rely on their actions to create inner peace for us. The point is that no one can make us suffer; there is always a choice. Yes, even if they lie, cheat or steal. Our needs are literally the demise of the relationship, and ironically also the demise of our joy.
“Do not see them as your source of love OR pain. When you truly stand in love transgression is impossible. We are collectively learning through pain and love, be patient with yourselves but know that all is mutable through self-love and understanding. If you become accountable for your state of being, true enlightenment and empowerment awaits. – Archangel Raguel
The Faceplant: A couple cuts and bruises vs. ICU
So, YES we can fall in love without falling as long as we remain accountable for our emotions and well-being. I’m not saying that this will be easy right away, but I am saying that it’s possible. We are where we are, we attract the perfect lessons to us – the beauty is that we can choose how to react, interpret and perceive the world around us. Through conscious living, the desire to grow and the ability to take compassionate responsibility, all is possible.
“Relationships seem hard because they mirror all your belief systems and allow you to see what is currently in your vibration - the important piece is not to attach to the belief systems that do not work for you or that work against divine love, simply see them and let them go.” – Archangel Raguel
“Heartbreak is only a result of accepting the illusion that you are separate. When you condense your source of love into another the limitation in this is painful and so far from the truth.” – Archangel Jophiel
The truth is love is not sacrifice, love is not pain, love from another is not there to make you feel safe or ok in the world – in fact, this will keep you lost and in conflict forever. It is time for a new type of relationship to emerge, of freedom, self-accountability and conscious awakening. What if we just allowed for the experience instead of conditioning what a relationship should look and feel like?
Releasing others of obligation will only allow more love to exist; it’s silly how we think we can control love. It has no opponent.
Love can be the quickest and best way to total freedom and getting everything that we want, we just have to connect with the soul. We all have our own belief systems and 100% of the time we are trying to go back and heal something from the past without knowing it! The “trick” is going to the root of the subconscious program stemming most always from childhood and healing that. Otherwise, we’re chasing our tail over and over with the same love story. I'm here to help, this is my specialty! Get on over to my contact page and get in touch. Or read more about how beliefs work. Can't wait to hear from you!
Manifest your limitless expression and make lifetimes of change by clearing your own life-long subconscious patterns. You’ll learn not only how to access your own subconscious blocks, but also how to energetically clear them to help you unravel your soul’s voice, purpose and highest expression.
Feel free to share your experiences on love below! Or let me know what you think! ;)